Entitled brother demands family celebrate Christmas in January after his wife decides she's too tired from work to come to dinner on Christmas Eve: ‘We're taking the day off’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Dec 20, 2025 2:00 PM EST

Most families don't get together that often. If people live in different states, and sometimes even different countries, getting everyone to be together at the same place and same time is not an easy task.

That's partially why we have holidays. Thanksgivings and Christmas are classic holidays that invite families to come together again after months of being apart. It's a beautiful celebration of love and tradition. At least that's how it is in theory. In reality, most families are complicated, and the physical distance between the members might be a clue into what actually happens when they all get together on Christmas, and it ain't pretty.

When the sibling below invited the family to Christmas, it was supposed to be the time for them to come together this year. Except their brother had a different idea, and demanded to postpone the Christmas celebration to January. Why? Because his wife is expecting to have a busy week at work, she just isn't up to being hosted, cooked for, and given presents this year.

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  • Fortunately, the sibling who hosts this year's Christmas celebration is not willing to change everyone's plan for this one brother. Keep scrolling to read all about the family's reaction to the demands.

  • AITA for not having Christmas dinner in January?

    My wife and I host Thanksgiving and Christmas every year, usually on the day of or the Saturday after the holiday (alternating so we can spend time with our in laws on the day of every other year).
    via Small-Blacksmith3922
  • Family Get Together During Christmas
    via Nicole Michalou

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • This year my brother said that he won't be able to make it and we'll have to move it to January 3rd instead since that's his and his wife's next free day that we're also off work.
    via Small-Blacksmith3922
  • I asked him what was going on the day we had set aside for Christmas dinner and he said that his wife was anticipating a long week at work starting that Sunday so she wanted to take Saturday off.
    via Small-Blacksmith3922
  • My wife does all of the planning, shopping, prepping, cooking, and cleaning. We offered for them to come over in the evening after dinner was ready so all they would do is eat dinner, open presents, and then they could leave within a couple of hours.
    via Small-Blacksmith3922
  • They said no, they decided they're taking the day off and we'll have to wait another week.
    via Small-Blacksmith3922
  • I wouldn't have been as upset, but spending Christmas together (or as close to Christmas is possible) is incredibly important to our mom and she's always upset about not having it the day of.
    via Small-Blacksmith3922
  • So, am I the asshole for telling my brother and sister- in-law they need to SI si k it up for one day and come to Christmas on Saturday with everyone else?
    via Small-Blacksmith3922
  • EDIT: thank you all for the responses. I called my brother and said that I was sorry for being so harsh earlier and that we would have dinner at 5, presents at 6:30.
    via Small-Blacksmith3922
  • If they can make it great, otherwise we'll have them over in January to make up for missing it.
    via Small-Blacksmith3922
  • CandylandCanada >My wife does all of the planning, shopping, prepping, cooking, and cleaning. So we know that you are an AH. After consulting with your spouse, you should have told your brother that the event was going ahead as planned, whether he's there or not. Instead, you played his stupid game. ESH, except your poor wife who should do whatever she wants this holiday season and the rest of you can get on board with what she decides or be left at the station.
    via CandylandCanada
  • OP Small-Blacksmith3922 I do need to note I said she does everything because I feel like I don't do anything, but I do help where I can. Prepping veggies, arranging the table, etc. I was in a car accident and was injured to the point I can't stand for more than a few seconds at a time, but I do whatever I can while sitting with her.
    via Small-Blacksmith3922
  • Christmas Dinner Table Setting with Candles
    via SUMALI IBNU CHAMID

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • chief Vetinari I mean over in January could just mean ordering in a pizza..
    via chiefVetinari
  • OP Small-Blacksmith3922 This is correct. I told them we would host them for dinner but we'd get pizza or some other take out. Two diners a year is enough for my wife even though I know she'd be willing to do it again and I don't take that for granted. I'm very lucky.
    via Small-Blacksmith3922
  • NTA jlc203 If they can't make it, that's their problem. Why does everyone else need to rearrange their own plans?
    via jlc203
  • FamiliarFamiliar And when you get together in January get take out or go to a restaurant b/c your wife shouldn 't get stuck doing all that cooking again.
    via FamiliarFamiliar
  • NTA Illustrious Bowler259 Tell them they'll be missed, and have Christmas at Christmas. When THEY do all the work of hosting, they can schedule what they like. What nerve!
    via IllustriousBowler259
  • MuchProfessional7953 ESH. Your brother for trying to dictate when someone else hosts a dinner. You for this: "My wife does all of the planning, shopping, prepping, cooking, and cleaning." If she's doing it all herself, why are you taking credit for hosting? Paying for groceries doesn't count. Existing in the house doesn't count. Know what counts? Chopping veggies! And whatever else makes her day easier while she caters to your family.
    via MuchProfessional7953
  • Maiden_Far We set a time and date. Everyone is invited and who can't make it, don't.
    via Maiden_Far
  • Wide-Street1781 NTA. The whole family shouldn't have to rearrange their plans just because your SIL wants to take the day off. All she has to do is show up, eat and open gifts. It's not like manual labor is involved. She can rest all day before dinner, or just skip the event altogether.
    via Wide-Street1781
  • Wanted_Deador Alive69 In summary: Let me ruin everyone else's plans and expectations to appease 1-2 ppl. Nope, NTA.
    via Wanted_Deador Alive69
  • Neither-Investment95 "We are having Christmas on x date at y time. If you can't make it, that's fine. Merry Christmas" Also, help your wife and clean up since she is doing all the hard work
    via Neither-Investment95

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Tags

christmas family drama aita christmas dinner brother work wife husband family family dinner holidays entitled people
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